What Makes a Good Father?
Genesis 18:19

Good Evening.

INTRO: Happy Father's Day. A day that our nation has set aside to honor our fathers.

Many of us here today are fathers and grandfathers. Certainly we all have or have had fathers. For many people Fathers' Day is a joy with warm memories, but for some it is not easy. Some people have wonderful relationships with their fathers and some bad relationships or none at all. I saw a statistic once that only 2-3 men out of a hundred, when teenagers, spent more quality time with their fathers than with their mothers.

I’m not sure what they call quality time today but I sure spent time with my father. Frequently, I would rather have been doing other things. I was raised on a farm and time with my father most often meant work! My father passed away at the age of 72 when I was just 16 (you do the math). I did not have many years with him but even still he shaped the rest of my life in many ways. He taught me things I needed to know and told me things I needed to hear even if I did not recognize them until years later.

One thing he taught me was responsibility. It was my job to hoe and water in the garden. This was a real chore, the sun was hot, the ground hard and the rows were long. I had an assignment to do peppers and one day I found a short cut! Scrape the hoe along the ground to cut the weeds and then lug down several cans of water from the cistern to the garden and walk along the row pouring water out behind me.

A few weeks of this and my father called me to the garden and said “look at these pepper plants.” They were a sorry sight, small and stunted from what we usually had, the leaves were droopy like they were not getting water. “But I weeded and watered them” I said. “Yes” he replied “but you did not hoe around them to break up the soil. The water was not able get to the roots. All the water ran off the hard earth to the center of the path between the rows and evaporated.”

I explained that I thought I had found a shortcut from all that hoeing in the hard ground since it eliminated the weeds I thought that was enough. Father told me that one day I would be a man with a family and the success or failure of that family would be my responsibility. He told me that when you take on a job either out of need or out of desire you take on the responsibility to do that job to the best of your ability. I said wished I’d never thought I found a short cut. Father said “Short cuts can be good and looking for better ways to do something is a good thing, but one must be responsible enough to ensure the “new way” produces the correct results.

That lesson sunk in and I’d like to think it helped me all my life. Not every lesson my Father taught me stuck. Another time, the same hoe in my hand, I lost my temper trying to loosen the hard soil and started swinging the hoe tip violently against the ground. As you can imagine the handle broke. I’ll save the rest of that story for another time. Suffice it to say the first lesson was on responsibility and this one was on consequences.

Unfortunately, when our children are born, “there is no manual that comes with them”. Or so we have been told. However, that is not entirely true, we do have a manual that will help us to be better fathers. That manual is God's Word.

God’s word is full of examples of fathers; both good and bad. This evening I would like to look at Abraham as a father. Abraham was not a perfect man. In Genesis 12 we find he told the Egyptians that Sarai was his sister, when she was really his wife.

However, God describes Abraham this way Genesis 18:19 – “For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.”
God knew Abraham would be a good father. What then made him such a good father?

I. Showing faithfulness in God.
A. Abraham left his home at God's command Hebrews 11:8-10 – “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would afterward receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise; for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.”
B. Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son in order to please God Hebrews 11:17-19 – “By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises offered up his only begotten son, of whom it was said, "In Isaac your seed shall be called,'' accounting that God was able to raise him up, even from the dead, from which he also received him in a figurative sense.”
C. As fathers, if we want our children to be faithful to God, they must first see that faithfulness in us. Abraham demonstrated his faithfulness well. We know that the world watches us and knows what we do. Our children probably know us better then anyone else.
D. Do we show our children that our relationship with God is the most important thing to us? Or do we show our relationships with people are most important?
1. Our parents and our children are among the most important things in out lives yet we are reminded in:
2. Matthew 10:37 – “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”
E. Do we show that God is first in our lives? Or do we show them that our work is the most important thing to us. If I am guilty of any thing in what I have shown my children, it is this.
F. Perhaps we show them worldly things -- family get togethers, sporting events, etc are the most thing to us/them.
II. Abraham had authority in his house.
A. Abraham's family respected his authority.
B. Never once do we have an account of one of his household showing him disrespect.
C. Even his servant desired the very best for the master Genesis 24:12 – “Then he said, "O Lord God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham.” (This was when Abraham wanted a wife for his son.)
D. Abraham was such an effective leader of his house because he showed his family that he cared for them Genesis 13:5-9 – “Lot also, who went with Abram, had flocks and herds and tents. Now the land was not able to support them, that they might dwell together, for their possessions were so great that they could not dwell together. And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock. The Canaanites and the Perizzites then dwelt in the land. So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren. Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me. If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left.”
E. As fathers, like Abraham, we must lead the house. This is the role God has given us. Not because man is superior, just that it is his role. We must fulfill this role with strength, kindness and caring.
1. This is the role that God gave us Ephesians 5:22-33 – “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.'' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
2. We are to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, not provoking them to wrath Ephesians 6:4 – “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
F. Also, we need more men who want to be fathers to their children and not simply be their children's best friend.
1. Fatherhood is not a popularity contest. There is a time for discipline for our children’s good.
2. Being a good father means we must discipline our children Hebrews 12:7-8 – “If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.”
3. However, when we discipline, like when God disciplines us, it is for our benefit and should not be out of anger or malice. We do this out of our love for our children.
4. My father had made that hoe especially for me when I was young and not able to manipulate a full size hoe. Now the handle was broken and he explained we did not have a new handle. Instead he taught me how to make a “temporary” repair to that handle. Then he instructed me in how to use the hoe to gradually loosen the soil and not attack it.
III. Abraham was Committed to God and to His Family.
A. Time after time, Abraham demonstrated his love for his family.
1. Abraham’s nephew Lot had been taken captive along with his family. Genesis 14:12-16 – “They also took Lot, Abram's brother's son who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed. Then one who had escaped came and told Abram the Hebrew, for he dwelt by the terebinth trees of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol and brother of Aner; and they were allies with Abram. Now when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his three hundred and eighteen trained servants who were born in his own house, and went in pursuit as far as Dan. He divided his forces against them by night, and he and his servants attacked them and pursued them as far as Hobah, which is north of Damascus. So he brought back all the goods, and also brought back his brother Lot and his goods, as well as the women and the people.”
2. Genesis 18:23-33. Abraham cared for Lot so much that he presumed to bargain with God. Can you imagine the courage it took to do this? “Then the men turned away from there and went toward Sodom, but Abraham still stood before the Lord. And Abraham came near and said, "Would You also destroy the righteous with the wicked? "Suppose there were fifty righteous within the city; would You also destroy the place and not spare it for the fifty righteous that were in it?"Far be it from You to do such a thing as this, to slay the righteous with the wicked, so that the righteous should be as the wicked; far be it from You! Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?'' And the Lord said, "If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.'' Then Abraham answered and said, "Indeed now, I who am but dust and ashes have taken it upon myself to speak to the Lord: "Suppose there were five less than the fifty righteous; would You destroy all of the city for lack of five?'' And He said, "If I find there forty-five, I will not destroy it.'' Then he spoke to Him yet again and said, "Suppose there should be forty found there?'' And He said, "I will not do it for the sake of forty.'' And he said, "Let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak: Suppose thirty should be found there?'' And He said, "I will not do it if I find thirty there.'' Then he said, "Indeed now, I have taken it upon myself to speak to the Lord: Suppose twenty should be found there?'' And He said, "I will not destroy it for the sake of twenty.'' And he said, "Let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak but once more: Suppose ten should be found there?'' And He said, "I will not destroy it for the sake of ten.'' So the Lord went His way as soon as He had finished speaking with Abraham; and Abraham returned to his place.”
B. Like Abraham, if we are to be good fathers, we must show our families how important they are to us.
1. They need to know that (next to God) they are the most important people in our lives.
2. We must strive to meet their physical needs 1 Timothy 5:8 – “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” We are blessed in this country as for most of us it is not too hard to provide the basics for our families.
3. However, we must make sure that we realize that they have more than physical needs. (shortcoming)
i. They need our time or else they will end up like strangers and we will know the people at work better then our own family.
ii. They need our love. They need to know we love them.
iii. Many homes have been torn apart because Dad thought that his whole job was just providing things for his family. They don’t know dad because he is not there.

CONCLUSION:
Being a father is the greatest blessing in the world.

Using God's Word as a guide, let’s make sure that we do the best we can at it. As fathers we should take the time to read our bibles with that task in mind. If our family doesn’t see it in us, they may not ever see it.

Are we the kind of fathers that God would have us to be? It all starts with obeying the gospel and becoming a Christian.

If you're not a Christian, now is the time to become one. If you are a Christian and have fallen away we encourage you to follow the gospel; repent of your sins and pray for forgiveness. Whatever your need we will do what we can to assist you and we encourage your to come while we stand and sing.

Reference sermon by Ralph Price