The Christian Family

Genesis 3:16

Good morning to everyone again. We have some here that may have not been here for the Bible hour. We're glad to see you. I think that I have spoken to everyone. If I missed you, I'll catch you after services.

Looking out in the audience, I think I did get to speak with everyone and say hello to you and it is good to be here with you. I want to let you know that I appreciate the support that you are to us, it is of a great help. Let me give you a little history of the Chalmette congregation. At one time, they were self supporting and like a lot of congregations, a lot bigger. Even before I was there, they were like 110-120, but then the oil bust came and some other things, and a lot of people left town and the congregation goes down, but still a decent sized congregation, at least around 60 somewhere in that neighborhood.

Then Hurricane Katrina hit. I know you know about that. In 2005, I mentioned that in Bible class. A lot of people moved off after that, so we had even fewer after that, and then we had some people that died, and since we have had some that have retired from their jobs, and so, as you know, we have become an older congregation. We do have some that are younger, but they're not just ready to lead singing and wait on the table just yet. I want to get to one of those in just so that's kind of where we are, but I do sincerely appreciate your support, I appreciate Tom and Nina allowing me to stay in their home, that is a good blessing. I have met some cats since I've been there, can you believe that?

That I have met some cats and they have introduced themselves to me and I have become friends with at least one. He has finally decided, he's okay, I'll let him pet me. I appreciate that, I appreciate Dale picking me up yesterday at the airport. I have known Dale, we were talking as we were coming from the airport. I've known him for 25 years now, and we went to school together for two years in the same class, so we spent every day together, became good friends. I remember going on the restoration trip together. We did campaigns together, so I spent a lot of time with him and some other good preachers. You miss those days. You go out and everything changes, but it's still good to be with other brethren and meet some new Christians.

I told you I was going to talk about one in particular I do have. My first grandchild was born two months ago, and his name is Calvin. I actually want to tie this in with the lesson. You're going to say, how's he going to do that? I'm going to try at least to do that, but he is named Calvin after an elder in the church in Georgia. How do you name somebody after an elder in the church in Georgia? How does that take place?

They had a tornado hit some years ago, not to the building, but in the community. Some of our members sent some help to them. Calvin is the elder that I got to speak to and talk to. Of course, we had in common, being Christians, number one. After that, we found out that we both were big western fans, and so we talked a long time about westerns.

Then we found out that we both liked to fish, and so we talked about that. Then we found out that we both liked the Atlanta Braves, so we talked about that. Then later on, they went out west on a trip. On their way back through, they actually did this twice, they stopped and stayed with us for a few days. His wife Anne became good friends with my mother, and my mother had since passed away.

Calvin and I did make a fishing trip. I think it was actually Calvin's last fishing trip. He was actually on oxygen then, but we enjoyed ourselves and watched some westerns. He made a great impression upon my daughter. This is where I'm going with this. I think you can maybe see where I'm going to tie this in with this.

He made an impression on a daughter about gardening. Before I went to school, we had a big garden. Every year, my wife and I, we grew a good sized garden, canned and froze different foods. We did a lot of that, but Calvin still did that, and he and my daughter got to be friends with that.

He made such an impression upon her that even though Calvin has since died, they named that child after him. You see the impression that was made. This morning we're going to talk about the family. I know it says fathers, but we're going to expand out just a little bit beyond that. And you see in our nation that the family is in bad shape, to say the least.

You look at our country and you see all the crime that takes place, all the murders that take place. So many things that are really bad are happening. We say, what's the problem? What do we need to do? There actually is an answer.

I know the people that are in power don't want to listen to me and do that, but there is an answer. It's right here—the word of God. If families went back to following the Bible and fathers were in their home, like they need to be with mothers. If the children were obeying their parents like they should be, it would change society rather quickly. You would still have some crime, but nothing like we see taking place in our nation now. Of course, in the school systems and pretty much in all society, they want to shove God out of everything, don't they? We've seen that take place, but now you would think they would reason at some point, but they don't, back when we didn't have all this killing in school and when we didn't have so many things taking place and all the crime that's taking place?

I'm sure you've seen on the news where out in California and various different places, groups of people go in stores and just run out, 20 people, 30 people, and take all they can carry out with them. Nothing happens to them. There's no fear of God, no fear of law enforcement doing anything, because God has not been instilled in those people.

What do we need for our families? We need God. I want to mention this right now, that this week, while I'm here now, whether it be this subject or any other subject, I would be happy to sit down and talk with anybody about anything that I can possibly help with. I would gladly do that. If there's any kind of study that we can have, I would be more than happy to do that.

Always remember, we're never here to win the argument, we're here to teach the word of God. That's what wins souls to God, isn't it? That's what changes our lives now as we present this. And this is something that's hard for me to do, but it will show you some of the reality and some of the background that, hey, I've been in some of those places. I came from a broken home where when I was about kindergarten age, my father left and didn't have a lot to do with us in our lives. What he had to do was not good, it was usually very bad. I grew up with just my mother and that puts a strain on the family.

I know that in our society now, there are a lot of mothers by themselves that are raising their children. It's not unusual in congregations to see where a mother is bringing the children to services and the father's not in the picture or even if he's in the home, he's not spiritually involved in the picture, but he needs to be. That's God's plan for the home. You go back to the very beginning, it was one man and one woman that God put together that made the family and they had children, they procreated. That has been God's plan since the very beginning of time, since Adam and Eve, and it still is today. If we do what God has instructed us to do, we could solve a lot of our problems.

We're going to look at some things today that I hope it will help. I mentioned coming from a broken home. When I was around my father, I saw alcohol every day—every single day, not just on the weekend. It was every day. A lot of times seeing a stepmother with black eyes and bloody mouth and things of that nature. Those things are bad. We need to change those things with the word of God and it can be done. I want us to think this morning even fathers, mothers, whatever the situation may be, grandparents and still with my girls—I have two girls grown, I still should be having an impact upon their life by the life that I live just like Calvin did with my daughter.

Even though he be dead yet speaketh. We see that the impression that has been made in somebody's life can have a great deal to do with the rest of their life. Let me tell you about some things that were good in my life growing up. On the other hand, there were my grandparents that were members of the church, my grandfather an elder in the church, and we got to spend a lot of time in the summer out on their farm. Growing up, he had cows and always had a big garden.

I remember my grandfather kept the garden spotless and he didn't use a tiller or anything. You're going back to the old time way of doing things. They got up and worked, didn't they? That was involved. People were not afraid of work at that time.

I mentioned that I like to fish. They had a pond. That's where I first learned to fish is in that pond with blue gill and bass. Oh, if we caught a bass that weighed a pound or pound and a half we were doing something big back then as boys growing up we had to run back to the house and show our grandmother what we caught. With that being said, see they have made a tremendous impact on my life in a good way.

There's one hand and then there's the other and you see how much of a difference we can make on the lives of our children, our grandchildren and even with those that are around us like my daughter did with Calvin, that has gone on. The lives that we live don't just affect us and our children and grandchildren, it affects other people around us. It has a lot to do with what they see. They see that person lives differently. What causes them to live differently? It's the word of God. They live as God instructs them to do. That's something that they may want to emulate and put into their lives.

My grandmother was still living when I became a Christian but my grandfather had already died. I regret that one, that I hadn't become a Christian by then, but I do look forward. I do look forward to that great day of reunion that we can be back together again. Also some Christians that have gone on, my mother and some other faithful children of God that I miss, that have passed on, that have gone on before us. I know you feel the same way.

There are those that have gone on ahead of us and we want to see them again. As much as I love my mother and she was a faithful child of God and my grandparents faithful children of God, I want to be with them again and the example that they set, but if I truly want to be with them again, there's something that Mark's going to have to do. Nobody else can do it for me. You can encourage me, but I will have to make the decision.

When it comes down to it, what will I do? God has shown us the way. Just as they walked in the steps of Jesus, I will have to do the same thing. If I do that, I will get to be with them again, and there won't be any more parting. There won't be any more death, there won't be any more tears.

Let's notice something. In Genesis three, verse 16. It says unto the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee. Why was that? Because Eve first sinned, she was the one that first took of the forbidden fruit. Adam did too. Adam had a plan when God confronted him. It's the woman that you gave me. It’s either the woman or you, but not me. Man still does that today, don't we? It's always somebody else's fault, not ours. Adam wanted to blame his wife. God placed man in a leadership role. Men, we need to make sure that we do lead.

Here's something also to remember. As I said about my grandfather, this is important. He didn't live to see me become a Christian, but because of his example that he set, it had a great deal to do with me becoming a Christian. Without that in my life, I may not be a child of God today. That impact that we have upon somebody's life makes such a great difference.

In Ephesians 5:23, it says, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. In the New Testament, God has put the man to oversee the affairs. There's a lot more goes with that. I've seen some men that want to take that verse out of context. When you do that, you can make a verse mean anything you want it to mean?

That's pretty much what they do. The man is head of the house. Slow down just a little bit. You may be right about something, but there's a lot more goes with that. Read the rest of the chapter in Ephesians five and you see how the husband is to take care of his wife. He's to cherish her to what point as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.

The father is the one that is to set the tone in the home. Sometimes we have our children and I see people sometimes they want their children to do well, to go off to some university and to be able to get some good job. There is nothing wrong with that. I'm not condemning that, but what about making sure that they have a life in Christ as they're growing up?

You're preparing them for college and we want to make sure when they come home from school that they did their schoolwork. We had to do that with our children. Sometimes what they brought home, I was scratching my head about what I was supposed to help do with it. We want to make sure they have that schoolwork. I wonder sometimes how often do we check to see if they did their Bible lesson for their classes, did they learn the memory verse and did we help them do those things? Those things are important. Actually they're more important than the other, aren't they? It’s important that we help train them to walk in the ways of the Lord. That will have an impact upon them way beyond the job, way beyond the time they leave our homes. They have their own families.

Here's what was taught in my home and it will have an impact upon them. I want to see my grandchild. If you want to see pictures afterwards, I've got some believe me, on my phone. I can spend some time with you and we can look at that. One thing I want to see my grandchild do as he grows up. I want to see him taught the word of God when he's young too. I don't have an impact upon that, but I want to see my daughter and her my son-in-law teach them. They're both members. I want to see him grow up in the time when he's of the age of accountability. I want to see him obey the gospel, whether it's me baptizing him or somebody else, that doesn't matter. I want to see him be a Christian. That will happen when he's taught the will of God. That must take place early. We must teach them when they're young. You only have them when they're young. It seems like you're going to have them in your arms. It's going to be like this forever. They grow up in a hurry, don't they? They don't stay young very long, do they? It changes so quickly. You wonder, how did they grow up so fast? Then you look at your age, you say, well, that's how they got to be the age they are. Look at my age, they have grown up.

Here's something about a father. A father is one who will lead in his household. He should be the head of his house, but he should be considerate of the thoughts of his wife. They're making some major decisions. Here's what I've decided. No, he should consider what his wife thinks, and we're going to buy a house. You certainly would want the wife to be considered with those thoughts about what's going to take place. So he must lead in the home. When the father leads in the home, he will have a home that will be different than what we see taking place in the world. What did Paul say? Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but rather bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.

Think of that word for a minute. Provoke not your children unto wrath. That's a pretty strong term, isn't it? A father can actually do so much to his children that as they grow older, they don't want anything to do with them. I've had this happen on a couple of occasions.

A couple people that I work with and they’re older than me, I would see their children about my age, and well, I worked with their father. They didn't want to talk about him, didn't want to mention him because of what he was doing in his life. They didn't want to mention that. I remember one time going to a funeral and I just wanted to pay my final respects to somebody. Didn't have any idea I was going to wind up being a pallbearer because they couldn't find anybody. Not enough people showed up to be the pallbearers. Why was that? Because of the life that was left. He provoked them unto wrath.

We want to respect our parents. Here's something. Let's go back to the children for just a moment. Children, I'm talking about adult children. As we grow up, we still should show respect to our adult parents. We should show our love for them later in life. The last seven or eight years of my mother's life, she came to live with us. She had leukemia, got to the point she couldn't live by herself, so she lived with us. I was glad that we could spend those last years together and spend that time together and help take care of her.

Here's one thing that happens in life when children are young. The parents, they are taking care of the children. You know what happens a lot of times later in life? The roles reverse. The children are taking care of the parents. That's the way that it should be. It shouldn't be that the parents are neglected because the children have their own life. They do, but helping take care of their parents is part of that. It says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

You ever been in a store? Let's just do Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart’s always the place, isn't it? You ever seen somebody in Wal-Mart or anywhere else for that matter, a child's out of control? They'll tell them stop. You stop doing that. You stop doing that. They'll tell them again and they'll tell them again, all right, I'm going to count to 3. One, two, two and a quarter. When are you going to get to three? When are you going to make the child do something? Children obey your parents, but they have to be taught to obey, don't they?

Number two here, a father is a father who is led.

The first one and this are very similar in the way they're titled, but completely different. A father is one who leads, but a father is one who is led. He is led by the word of God, not by the world, not after work, going down with the boys to drink some beers and live that kind of life. No, he is led by the word of God. His concern is for his family, that they will see how God wants them to live and that he will make sure that they are taught the word of God.

You only get one shot at it. You don't get a redo on it. You only have one chance to do that. I want to mention this. If there's anybody in the congregation that is struggling with something in the family, prayer makes the difference. You could go with somebody and pray. You can come before the congregation and let them pray with you. Here's something I'll do. We'll do it this morning as well. We always want to extend the invitation if somebody needs to become a Christian, certainly, don't we? I somebody's a member that has fallen away, but you know, there is a third category and we don't want to forget about them. Th fits in with what we're looking at this morning. Those that are members but are struggling, it could be with the family, could be with something else that it might be. Think about this. In this congregation or Chalmette or any congregation it may be there's going to be the empty pew where somebody used to be.

What if way back over here they had got help and encouragement for somebody and prayed together and stayed strong together? They might still be members of the body of Christ faithfully serving God.

Number three, a father is somebody that is a leader by divine appointment. It's not that he wants to rule his household with an iron fist. Here's an old saying if you treat your wife like a queen, then she'll treat you like a king. That's the best way for that to happen, fellas.

We can't expect our wives to treat us like a king. I guess I could get by with a few things since my wife's not here, couldn't I? You might tell on me, so I'm not going to do that. If you want your wife to treat you like a king, treat her like a queen. Take care of her needs. See that she's taken care of. Cherish her. She is someone that you have made a commitment with. That is for a lifetime.

Next number five. A breakdown in leadership can lead to a breakdown in followership.

A father must be somebody that leads by example. If he quits doing that, it may be that the wife, the mother, stops following and the children and eventually the whole family. It may be that one time the whole family was a part of the congregation at some place and the whole family is gone.

It started somewhere, though. It always does. It doesn't just happen overnight. It's a transition that takes place and start to look back into the world and go back. We have to be careful with that.

A father is one that loves his family and he will do anything that it takes to take care of them. Notice another verse in Ephesians 5:25. I refer to this. Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.

What did Christ do when he gave himself for the church? He died on that cross so we could be saved. I think most husbands would say, if somebody was trying to harm my family, I would certainly step in. I think that's true, but there's more to it than that. To truly guard your family, you have to understand something. You've got to guard them from Satan. Do you understand that? Satan wants your children. Satan wants your grandchildren. And if we don't watch it, he will take them. He will snatch them. We've got to be on guard. Yes. Guard against somebody coming into the house, certainly, but guard against Satan coming into the house.

What do we watch on TV? What do they see the parents doing? What do they see mom and dad engaged in? How do they see us conduct ourselves toward each other? Do they see that we always argue? Or do they see that it's a loving home? I told you about my home. I told you that for a purpose so you could see that I have experienced some of this. It took me and my brothers several years before we could kind of put that behind us even when we grew up.

I told you that so I can show you. Yes. It's not just something that's easy for you to say. I've seen some things, and I didn't tell you a lot of other things and I'm not going to, but a father provides for his family. In First Timothy 5:8, it says, but if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.

If a man won't provide for his family, we typically think I've got them a place to stay, I gave them food, I bought them clothes. That's good, that's good. They need the spiritual leader in the home. Fathers, that's the father that they need a father that will train them. They need those other things, but they need the spiritual training in the home, and they must have that teaching and we must not provoke our children.

Here comes one that maybe seems that it's unheard of today fathers. Sometimes we have to discipline our children. I'm not talking about our big children. Obviously I'd have trouble with that. They're stronger than I am. When our children are younger, we have to discipline them.

There comes a time we have to say, no, you can't do that. Sometimes we have to guard, what company they are keeping, what company are you allowing your children to be around? It could lead them to get in all kinds of trouble. I knew a young man, he was in the congregation. I don't think that he ever became a member, but he was around some guys in the congregation that were good. Later in years he got around some that were not so good out in the world. Then he wound up in prison. See, the kind of people that we are around has a great deal to do with what our children will do later in their life.

Notice this. Do we remember this passage? Proverbs 13:24. He that spareth his rod hateth his son but he that loveth him chastens him betimes. More than once. Sometimes we have to say no. I remember when my children were young, I like to see things we could do together. We're going to go do this. There were some stipulations. We have to clean your room first, then we'll go. You can't just say that and then they won't clean the room when you take them anyway. You have to train them and teach them. I remember those days, taking them to McDonald's.

I don't know if they had them here or not, but they had all those tubes and things. They could get up there and climb in. I would go over there and let them play in those things and spend time with them. I didn't crawl on the tube. I couldn't get back out if I did. I didn't try that part.

We see in Hebrews 12:6. For whom the Lord loveth, he chastens and scourges every son whom he receiveth.

God disciplines us. It's a necessary thing. Our Heavenly Father trains us. We notice that we must not be selfish toward our families. Sometimes children don't have what they need as far as food and clothing, because the Father is drinking up the money and not bringing them home.

There's more than one, but I know a son back home that a woman, she's got three different children by three different men and never been married to any of them. That situation is sad. Think about what it does to those children as they grow up. It's very difficult.

We see in First Corinthians 13:5, it's talking about love. Love does not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. Love takes care of, love is concerned about our wives and our children and the home.

I want my wife to go to heaven. I want my children to go to heaven. If I see that something's in the way, even as adults, I want to try to help them to overcome that.

We also notice that the Father is to be one that will spend extra time when he might have wanted to go do something else. Last night, I hate to have to say this. I wanted to watch the Tennessee football game when they were playing Florida. Unfortunately, I did watch it, and Tennessee didn't do so well. What I was getting to sometimes, we want to spend time as men. We love ball games and we love this and that. I've known men, they spent so much time going to play tennis, going to play basketball, going to do this, but they never spent time with their children. Now the children are grown, they can't go back and get those days.

In Job 1:5, notice about Job. And it was so when the days of their feasting were gone, about that Job sent and sanctified them and rose up early in the morning and offered burnt offers according to the number of them all. For Job said, it may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually. He was concerned for his family.

Let's look at the wife for just one moment and the mother. Look at Proverbs 31 and you see that spiritual mother that cares for her family all the time. She's working, taking care of their needs. She even buys land. She's doing whatever it takes to provide for her family.

I talked about saying something, whether my wife's not here, but actually I'm going to say something, but it's good. My wife is a very dedicated worker. I have been blessed to have somebody that will stand by my side as I've preached the Gospel these years. Sometimes preachers don't always stay in the same place. That can make it difficult on the wife not wanting to move away from family, but that takes place. I have had a wife that God has blessed me with that has stuck by my side no matter what has taken place. I have been blessed by God above.

What about us today? Are we following God according to his plan for the family? Start with the husbands as we close out.

Husbands, fathers, are we leading the family in the way that will help them to go to heaven? Are we doing the things that will help them to reach their heavenly home? Or do we stand in the way that may hinder them from going? We don't want to do that. We don't want to be a roadblock to them.

What about the mother? The Book of Proverbs talks about a nagging wife and a contentious wife. It's better to be on the rooftop than to be with a woman like that. The mother, the wife needs to be somebody that is a good person that works and helps provide for her family.

Children need to also obey and learn and be taught. Brethren, you could see a country that could be turned around not with some political stance, but with the word of God if we would follow it. How do we do that, since we're not in control of everything? We do it one soul at a time. That's how we do it—one soul at a time. We take this gospel first. We live it and we teach it to our families and we teach it to anybody that we can. This morning, are you a child of God? I want you to think for a moment not what I think, not what anybody else thinks.

I can't get you to heaven. That's the truth. I can't do anything that will help you by myself to go to heaven. It takes God. What did God say? Let's look at the day of Pentecost in Acts two. The apostles were there and they were standing up and proclaiming the word of God. The people heard them. The people there were some of them that helped crucify our Lord. They said Men and brethren, what shall we do? We've been guilty of sins. We didn't believe that he was the Christ, but we believe now. What shall we do? Peter said unto those that believe, repent, change your direction and be baptized, every one of you. If we do what the Lord says today, it'll make us the same thing it did in the first century. It'll make us Christians.

As children of God, if there's something in our life that we need to correct, let's be willing to do that. Let's be willing to take care of anything that stands between us and God. If there's anybody here that needs prayers of encouragement, don't be afraid to ask.

Heaven is worth it. Will you come? As we stand as we sing.